I have let loose a hoard of emotions which were weighing down heavily upon me from birth. I was raised by a toxic mother, imbibed with poisonous milk and blood which consumed me from within and warped my mind against the world and myself. I became my own worst enemy and poisoned myself when no one else could.  

I was very, very lost. I felt always like a child inside, so prepared to fight or fly at every given opportunity. I was a stranger to my own self, and lived like a prisoner in a cage of my own design. A brain cage. The torture was unbearable. But I persisted.

I punished myself and was weak to people who sought to hurt me, which seemed a rough kind of justice that I wholeheartedly deserved, somehow.

But now, I am strong. I can breathe. I have my freedom. I am no longer an enemy of myself. I love myself at times, true love, that inspires insane levels of self care, insight, and happiness. I am becoming whole, just as Nature intended, for I have given myself permission to grow.

And it feels like bliss.

I take each day as it comes. And not all days are free of struggles. Sometimes each moment serves as a threat of reverting back to insanity. But I press on. And now I do so in the knowledge that I am ready, with tools in hand, to take control of my life.

I have removed all the elements of my toxic relationships and built new friendships in the strangest of places, which have proved to be more enduring and fulfilling than old and tenuous links to my past. Nobody can hold it together like I can. Since I was tiny, I have always been able to achieve a unique portrayal of calm to those around me. But inside I was broken and breaking further each moment.

Then I learned the joy of healing. Of addressing and letting go. I discovered a love for myself which only grows as I become delighted in my own company. I am free of the bondage of my past traumas, which were many and varied and hung about me like chains in all directions.

I was bound.

I was bound, broken, and bitter. But I was not beat. And I am still not beat. Each day I am growing. And I love who I am gradually morphing into. I am proud of her. I love her. I respect and care for her each moment, and strive to make her happy. Because, I have seen what she has been through, and I believe that she deserves to be happy. Finally.

Kerry has helped me to shine, like a gem in the dirt. And I smile because of what we have achieved together, and I draw from a well of strength that Kerry reassured me I had, which I never knew existed. I cannot convey the magnitude of what Kerry has done for me personally. Kerry has been the architect of my bright and beautiful future, and I am so very grateful to her. The difference in me is astounding and all as a direct result of Kerry's expertise and dedication to her clients.  I am equipped now with tools we have forged together.

Problems will arise in my future, but so will I.  

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